Are we missing where we are by treating it like an obstacle?
EN ROUTE IN A TAXI , TAIPEI, TAIWAN
"Life is available only in the present moment “
Thich Nhat Hanh
The Power of The Present Moment
The quote by the renowned Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk reminds us that our life unfolds through our connection with the present moment, not by dwelling on the past or fixating on some distant future.
This leaves the now as the only place where we can actively shape our lives. And while this seems rather common sense, it ironically is the one we tend to avoid.
Thich Nhat Hanh reminds us that the most important date we will ever have is:
“Keeping our appointment with life.”
It's a pointer towards engaging directly with what is presently happening. Not turning where we currently are into a mere stepping stone to a supposedly better destination.
The Cost of Distraction
Recently, I encountered the poignant observation that, tragically, "addiction is something that almost works." This resonates deeply with our almost addictive tendency to strive for an elusive better future in hope of relief. Yet, like any addiction, we never truly arrive because we carry our mindset with us - constantly requiring the next hit of distraction.
During my time living in the fast-paced environment of NYC, I found myself in a constant frenzy of acceleration of the ever-prevailing entertainment society of limitless options for instant distraction.
This habit of merely brushing over the moments at top-notch speed often left no one being truly present when we met up at a bar. Everyone's mind preoccupied with a future that had not yet arrived. Often scrolling on social media, decreasing our already scattered attention - kind of missing the point of having met up in the first place.
The Danish existentialist philosopher Søren Kierkegaard reminds us:
"Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be lived"
The constant fixation on resolving apparent dissatisfaction leads us to overlook what life is offering or asking of us right now:
By attempting to control what cannot be controlled, we might be missing the point of the journey of life.
It's akin to wanting to control the waves on the surface of the ocean instead of putting our energy into surfing the waves, as often described in Zen culture to explain how we resist life's innate nature of constant change.
Missed Experiences by Being Stuck in Planing
Rushing through life often means skimming moments and avoiding necessary space—space that arises when we refrain from filling every second with an agenda. Initially uncomfortable, this space allows us to confront what we've buried beneath constant activity.
Emerging from this rubble of over-input can feel like recovering from a hangover. Yet, to grow through realization seems to require this detox towards more time and space, asking us to slow down:
We need to slow down to receive the messages that are easy to ignore in the haze of the non-stop-bustle of modern life.
In “the things you can see only when you slow down” , the renowned Korean Buddhist teacher Haemin Sunim points out:
“Wisdom is not something we have to strive to acquire. Rather, it arises naturally as we slow down and notice what is already there.”
It points towards the power of not actively looking for wisdom or solutions but consciously making space for them to arise.
Lately, I´ve been experimenting with exploring how solutions often seem to occur self-sufficiently through sitting with whatever feels uncomfortable a bit longer - in a way feeling deeper. It appears that:
Focusing on deeper awareness, not on solutions, often naturally brings to the surface the most suitable action.
Turns out, the antidote to using the current moment to get to the next isn’t about avoiding it, but leaning in. About not letting ourselves be distracted, but touched. About relating with ourselves and others with more depth, allowing ourselves to be pierced.
Poet and novelist Rainer Maria Rilke who explored themes of existential questions reminds us that living life fully means embracing every experience as a potential answer to the questions that accompany us through life. In his poem “What Moves Me,” he concludes with the stanza:
“What matters is to live everything.
When one lives the questions,
one will maybe live gradually,
without noticing,
on a special day,
into the answer.”
It’s by engaging with whatever we are currently exploring that we can gain deeper understanding:
Maybe we overestimate the need for concrete answers and underestimate the power of connecting deeply with where we are, so we can live into the answer that we are overlooking in plain sight.
A friend that is going through the challenge of not knowing if she will survive a severe illness said to me the other day:
”I am treasuring every day now, as if the day were a whole life”
It shook me to how fragile and valuable each moment we get is. It feels like a warning to not be careless with the time we are given.
And while there is practical use in learning from the past and planing for the future to orient ourselves , embracing the power of the moment without an agenda opens us up to new possibilities that come with the bonus of easily surpassing whatever we could imagine.
What we miss when using the current moment as an obstacle:
Genuine connections and presence with others
Unexpected opportunities and synchronicities
Personal growth through deep self-understanding and self-awareness
The beauty in everyday moments
Increased creativity and problem-solving abilities
Authentic unfiltered experiences
Spontaneous creativity
Staying with the present moment fosters:
Expanding awareness: Noticing more details in our environment and experiences.
Deeper self-understanding: Gaining insights into our thoughts, emotions, and reactions.
Meaningful interactions: Engaging more authentically with others through active listening and presence.
Increased gratitude: Appreciating the small joys in everyday life.
Improved focus: Enhancing our ability to concentrate on tasks without distraction.
Reduced stress: Letting go of future worries and past regrets to find calm in the now.
Heightened creativity: Allowing spontaneous ideas to emerge from unstructured moments
Interestingly, we often seem to remember unexpected moments and curveballs as inspiring. The most memorable trips I've had are the ones where barely anything went according to plan, taking me to places I didn’t even know I wanted to visit.
There's an adventurous joy in experiencing the unanticipated and diving into the unfamiliar. As British author Oliver Burkeman notes in "Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals":
"And that you shouldn't necessarily even want such control, given how much of what you value in life only ever came to pass thanks to circumstances you never chose."
It’s an encouraging reminder that whatever we can come up with from accumulated knowledge rarely will be as novel as what we are open to experience beyond rigid planing. It´s a pointer that our illusion of control might not even be as desirable.
The Wisdom of The Elders
Having had many chances to listen to people of high age in the waiting rooms of frequent hospital visits due to the health issues of my parents has given me encouraging inspiration to contemplate that life is not a dress rehearsal.
Our experienced fellow humans emphasise how whatever we are preparing for usually does not happen the way we anticipate. They also point out that much of what we can do now we might not be fit enough to do later.
The urgency and challenge of living fully the way my friend battling with severe illness pointed out, is beautifully captured by Ocean Vuong in his collection "Night Sky with Exit Wounds":
"If you must know anything, know that the hardest task is to live only once."
This poignant line highlights that life is about diving in, not over, where we are. Like the people of high age in the hospital rooms reminding us that we don't get multiple attempts at each moment as every experience is unique and fleeting, as are we.
Ways to cultivate being in the moment:
Practicing daily meditation
Connecting with nature regularly
Journaling to process thoughts and emotions
Mindfully focusing on a single task at a time
Deeply listening without preparing an answer
Dropping a plan to improvise spontaneously
Recognizing the singularity of our existence can urgently inspire us to stop using where we are as an obstacle. After all, it’s a bit ironic to be so busy escaping from our current situation that we forget to actually live in the moment. Who knows—it might just be the best adventure we never planned!
Have you asked yourself:
Are you spending more time preparing for life than actually living?
How often are you consciously really present in the moment you are in?
Do you often catch yourself daydreaming ?
Is it more about where you would like to be or reminiscing the past?