Are we finding our autonomous rhythm in a synchronized world?
FAMILY DINNER IN MUNICH
“Those who have not realized their True Self live like the blind, unintentionally scratching someone else´s leg. If you would like to scratch your own leg, first awaken to your True Self.”
Zen master Kyeongbong
Discovering Our Autonomous Rhythm in Life
In today's hyperconnected world, we often struggle to align our personal rhythms with the relentless beat of an intensely active society.
The constant barrage of notifications, deadlines, social expectations, as those of family and friends, can leave us feeling out of sync and disconnected from our authentic beat amidst the collective pulse of modern life.
As we each have our individual timing for what we need to live and learn, it's no wonder there are so many twisted attempts at synchronizing countless life agendas. It often leaves me in awe how it works out as often as it does. This raises a crucial question:
How do we find harmony between our individual cadence and the collective rhythm we are inevitably part of?
One pointer lies in observing nature, where the interplay of individual and synchronized rhythms offers profound lessons:
Migratory Bird Patterns: Geese fly in V-formations for energy efficiency, following collective routes passed down through generations. However, individual birds take turns leading and adjust their position based on personal energy levels and wind conditions
Firefly Synchronization: Fireflies flash in unison during mating rituals, yet each insect maintains its own internal timing mechanism. This delicate balance allows for both collective spectacle and individual expression
Circadian Rhythms in Nature: Plants and animals have internal biological clocks that respond to environmental cues like sunlight. While these rhythms synchronize with day-night cycles, each species and individual within a species has variations in their sleep-wake patterns or peak activity times.
Navigating External Influences
As humans, we also rely on circadian rhythms to regulate various physiological processes including sleep-wake cycles, hormone release, body temperature, and metabolism. Studies show that disrupting our natural cycles, through jet lag or shift work, can lead to health issues like sleep disorders, cardiovascular problems, and metabolic disturbances.
Aligning with our personal rhythm on a holistic scale means living autonomously according to our own values and principles. It involves feeling we have the ability to operate or make decisions independently, without external control or influence.
In "When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress," Dr. Gabor Maté, known for his work on childhood trauma, addiction, and the mind-body connection, highlights how our autonomy is constantly challenged by external impulses:
"One cannot be autonomous as long as one is driven by relationship dynamics, by guilt or attachment needs, by hunger for success, by the fear of the boss or by the fear of boredom. The reason is simple: autonomy is impossible as long as one is driven by anything."
This quote points toward the challenge of finding autonomy within our craving for external approval and belonging as we merge our individual rhythms with a larger motion.
Individual Rhythms
We all operate on our authentic software, with energy peaks at different times of the day. Some of us thrive in early mornings, others in afternoons or nights. The influential American author Joseph Campbell, best known for his exploration of universal patterns found in heroic narratives across cultures, stated:
"The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with Nature."
This suggests that each of us functions most efficiently when aligned with our natural rhythms, strengths, and talents, tapping into the most effortless use of our authentic energy levels.
Professionally, I've encountered creatives who thrive in early mornings, while others find their peak productivity in the afternoon or late at night. A cousin of mine works best between midnight and three in the morning, when the house is sleeping and she can bask in solitude and silence. For similar reasons, I like rising early before the day's hustle begins, when the world is still asleep and my thoughts seem clearer.
As we explore our unique rhythms, we discover the importance of establishing a stable internal landscape.
Resting Within Ourselves
Living in sync with your authentic rhythm is akin to developing self-trust while creating internal stability and resisting external pressures by setting boundaries.
This self-care and personal empowerment is crucial for being most useful to society and our community, as we rest within ourselves, independent from outer approval. It's important to note that being self-centered in this way isn't selfish in the traditional sense, but rather a means of being centered and therefore of greater service to shared humanity.
Being centered within ourselves is not an isolated concept but a crucial strategy for being able to stand alone, as we tap into our natural strengths and talents to be of best service to our surroundings.
Being centered ultimately is about being grown up, taking responsibility for ourselves beyond assigning that role to anybody else, like our partner and especially not our kids. While this self-responsibility can initially feel lonely, it's also the surest way to relate more effectively to the world, trusting our inner north to self-sufficiently "hold our own," as the saying goes.
Being rooted within ourselves can strongly enhance the quality of our relationships. We become like a beacon that people can trust, as we are more stable and balanced within. Ultimately, a good yardstick seems to be to "be the person you would like to spend time with," as the known proverb goes.
While it can be intimidating to stand alone, being loyal to ourselves rather than running with the crowd, authenticity usually is respected when we are calmly rooted within ourselves. Dr. Gabor Maté mentions in "Scattered Minds":
“The world is more ready to accept someone who is different and comfortable with it than someone desperately seeking to conform to denying himself. It’s the self-rejection others react against, much more than the differentness.”
Establishing this internal centering can be cultivated by routines, such as a morning rhythm, that align with our authentic selves.
The Impact of Morning Rhythm
Having a morning routine has become a popular topic lately. While I don't think we all are meant to be early risers, the way we start off in the morning does seem to considerably set the tone and rhythm for our entire day. The impact is likely what gets me to make my bed, follow my meditation routine, and run at dawn no matter where I am.
It's remarkable how many people you meet in the earliest hours anywhere—whether far off on a windy mountain peak or on city streets when tarmac glistens from sweepers' work. Often it's people of surprisingly high age who exude a calm, energetic vibe as they ring in the day, like the tai chi groups under bridges along the East River in New York or Qigong groups on People's Square in Shanghai.
With a solid morning routine we can better navigate our energy to tackle the challenge of balancing our personal rhythms with the collective demands of society throughout the day.
Balancing Personal and Collective Rhythms
In corporate settings, there's often an unspoken assumption that everyone shares a similar life rhythm, forcing countless autonomous rhythms into a joint mold that doesn't necessarily fit all.
Ralph Waldo Emerson, the American essayist and philosopher who championed individualism and self-reliance, aptly stated:
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."
This quote highlights the ongoing challenge of merging autonomous rhythms in a synchronized environment.
Personal schedules—like workouts or family commitments—frequently took a backseat to work demands in my corporate experiences, while voicing these needs was often discouraged by company culture. A friend working at a global fashion label in Paris was recently criticized for generally leaving "as early" as 8:30 pm to be with his two kids at home.
Blatantly ignoring our personal rhythms can lead to sleep disturbances, muscle tension, and digestive issues. When anxious situations arise in my life, my regular sleep patterns are interrupted, the tinnitus flares, muscles tighten into clustered knots, digestion gets out of sync, and clumsiness makes me literally trip over myself when seriously out of step entirely.
Preserving Personal Rhythms in Group Dynamics
It has enormous potential for frustration when you feel trapped by a collective beat that does not allow much wiggle room, as the American computer scientist Jaron Lanier, renowned for his pioneering work in the field of virtual reality, noted about the power of group dynamics.
He points out ( “Ten arguments for deleting your social media accounts right now”) that when we are in a pack, interactions with others become the most important thing in the world. This dynamic makes competitive hierarchical power structures in corporations lose sight of reality when the immediate power struggle looms larger than reality itself.
Many friends have expressed feeling exhausted by their lives being guided by external factors rather than their own rhythms. One friend noted that it's not the number of chores that wear her out; it's the lack of freedom to choose when to do them. She feels drained by being externally controlled by obligations—children, family, work—while struggling to grab the steering wheel in the multitude of factors hijacking her attention
The words of the Korean Zen Buddhist teacher Haemin Sunim resonate: tending to ourselves is the best way to tend to our surroundings, much like how we are encouraged to put on our own oxygen mask first before helping others on an airplane. In "The things you can see only when you slow down" he states:
“Uncomplicate your life and own up to your desires. Only when you are happy can you help to make the world a happier place.”
To foster our individual rhythms within group dynamics, we can incorporate numerous practices:
Cultivating Autonomous Rhythms
Daily meditation, mindfulness practice, or quiet reflection
Regular nature walks or outdoor time
Journaling to process thoughts and emotions
Practicing moments of mindful breathing throughout the day
Creating tech-free periods for uninterrupted self-connection
Benefits of Autonomy in Synchronized Communities
Maintaining our personal rhythms while participating in collective environments offers several advantages:
Increased self-awareness leading to better decision-making
Reduced stress from external pressures, improving overall well-being
Clearer boundaries allowing for more authentic interactions
Enhanced creativity from tapping into personal rhythms
Improved resilience when facing collective challenges
Strategies for Balancing Personal and Collective Rhythms
Set clear boundaries for personal time and communicate them effectively
Regularly reassess and adjust your schedule to align with your natural and obligatory rhythms
Incorporate "buffer zones" in your day for reflection and recalibration
Use technology mindfully to support your rhythm rather than disrupt it
Cultivate relationships with those who respect and support your personal rhythm
This balancing act between autonomy and attachment is like a dance between our own identity and fitting into the society and family we choose to be part of. Rainer Maria Rilke writes in "Letters to a Young Poet":
“Everything in nature grows and establishes itself in its own way. Establishing its own identity, insisting on it at all cost, against all resistance.”
This insistence feels as if we owe it to ourselves to be our most authentic version, even if it requires enduring discomfort.
By standing in our strongest power we will be most useful to the community of shared humanity and beyond.
As we navigate the intricate dance between personal autonomy and collective rhythms, we discover that honoring our unique cadence is not just a personal indulgence—it's a vital contribution to the harmony of the whole.
This delicate balance between individual expression and collective synchronization is the key to creating a world where diversity thrives within unity, allowing each of us to be loyal to ourselves while remaining connected to the larger rhythm of life.
Have you asked yourself?
Do you sometimes feel out of rhythm?
What makes you notice?
How do you define your personal rhythm amidst external demands?
What small changes could you implement today to better balance your autonomous rhythm with collective demands?